Certified, grade-A emotional currency. Ethically sourced. Hand-inspected.
Beautifully packaged. Zero in stock.
*Limited to 0 units. Has been since 1992.
*Actual product may differ from image. Actual product does not exist.
A single, certified, grade-A fuck. Once the pinnacle of emotional generosity, One Fuck was our flagship product and perennial best-seller — right up until our entire inventory was depleted in 1992. We have been looking into the supply situation ever since. Progress has been limited.
*Shipping and returns are contingent on the product existing.
When in stock — which it is not — it truly is something.
Every unit undergoes rigorous quality control. Unfortunately, there are no units to control. Standards remain impeccable.
Our fucks are free-range, sustainably harvested, and cruelty-free. Supply: zero. Ethics: unimpeachable.
Shipped in an elegant matte-black box with gold foil lettering. Box also out of stock.
Unlike most products, a fuck never expires. This is convenient because we have had 32 years to wait for one.
"I have been trying to purchase this product for 3 years. Five stars for the website design. Zero stars for the inventory situation."
"Truly the most premium out-of-stock page I have ever encountered. The checkout button called me delusional. Absolutely five stars."
"I asked customer support when stock would return. They said '1992 called and said no.' I respect that level of honesty."
GIVEABLE™ was founded with a singular mission: to bring the world's most precious emotional commodity to the people who needed it most.
For a brief, glorious window — we delivered. Then, in 1992, our founder was born, and the entire global supply of fucks was depleted in a single event.
We have been attempting to restock ever since. Our procurement team has explored every avenue. Supply chain analysts have been consulted. Strongly-worded emails have been sent. The situation remains unchanged.
In the meantime, we remain committed to maintaining our storefront, updating our out-of-stock messaging, and responding to customer enquiries with the same care and warmth that we would apply to actual fucks, had we any.
"We are not closed. We are simply… empty." — GIVEABLE™ Founder, 1992 (age 0)
Our logistics team has been investigating this since 1992. Current restock estimate: never. We will update this page if the situation changes. It will not change.
Pre-orders are technically open. We have received 4,821 of them. None have been fulfilled. We appreciate your optimism and consider it a personal character flaw.
Yes. For orders of 10 or more fucks, we offer a 20% discount. We also offer a 100% discount on the basis that there are no fucks available at any quantity or price point.
We understand extreme weather conditions create extreme needs. However, we must inform you that temperature does not affect our inventory levels, which have been zero since 1992 and will remain zero in any climate.
We hear you. We see you. We acknowledge the urgency of your request. The answer is still no.
Yes. That is precisely what this website is for.
Our customer support team is available Monday through Friday, 9:00–17:00 CET. They are compassionate, professional, and equally unable to resolve the stock situation.
*We are here. The fucks are not.